I can say with certainty right now that I feel immersed in both the beauty & tragedy of my sons' people. I reject any claim or conversation that veers from allying with the Black Lives Matter movement or any group resolved to validate & do something about the state of emergency the black people of my country continue to find themselves in.
In between cleaning bottles, swapping laundry, changing diapers & getting organized for upcoming interviews, I found myself catching up on the news today, so that I might feel like a connected adult. I read two things disconnected & totally related. The first was proposed legislation in support of Cecil the murdered African lion. The second was the murder of another black man with no such legislative support.
In my search to learn more about Sam Dubose, I watched the uncut video of his murder. I did not know his story but saw his name as a hashtag and assumed he was another black man murdered by a cop. And now I'm unsure what to do with the sounds from the video except that I am sure they will keep me up when I most definitely need sleep. Just as Sandra Bland's voice does. Just as the video of Tamir Rice's murder does.
The video of Sam Dubose's murder from the killer's bodycam shows the crime from start to finish. Shows Sam Dubose being pulled over then shot in the head. That is the beginning and end. I'm unsure if the in-between matters. Which is to say that the details feel unnecessary and another black man is dead at the hands of a police officer.
And so here I lay. Tiny rustling nearby & soon to be hungry for his late-night bottle. Mr. Toddler asleep nearby with his blankie & his stuffies. We are their fostermoms. Now with the hope of adopting them. Which is to say, either way, everything we do for and with them & each other is within the context of forever, irrespective of an adoption date. This includes being white allies. It involves participating. It is our responsibility. How we honor our family. How we own our citizenship. Inseparable from how we raise black babies to be socially conscious black men and loving people. Inseparable from thinking about them as people in this world. Inseparable from loving them. Because that also matters.
-Foster Mom (the artist)